Are You Thinking Clearly?

Are You Thinking Clearly?

I was pro choice when I was in high school….over 50 years ago.
Since then, I have changed my mind, completely reversed.

I am drawn to ProLife issues in the news, organizations I can support, and recently, trying to tell my own story, to help some woman out there and stand in the gap for her.

With new information we can change how we think about a topic. The “vaccine” is one such item. Today you think one way about it but with more information, more news, more opinions you hear from others you could be influenced.

With my first two children, the ultrasound was not heard of.
With my third, it was available, but what you saw seemed hard to see clearly without a trained eye.

I was able to hear my baby’s beating heart, very early in my pregnancies at that time.

I found myself pregnant with our fourth child when my third child was just two…I don’t recall. I know, again,
like the other ones, my husband was not excited about another
one to support on his income. He liked to keep me working.

Ignorance is not an excuse to make any life changing or important decision. The more information you get, the more confident you will be in the decision you make. Deceit will mislead you so morally, we need to be on the same page as our creator if we are a believer.

How can we be sure we make good choices in our life?
I can think of five things to do that may help set you on the right course, some that I wish I adhered to myself at times.


What is the one thing or person you go to that helps you find your way when you are lost in a situation?

beige analog compass

Do you have a close friend or mentor? Is there someone you admire or a program you like to listen to that has been helpful in the past?

What is it that you see in that person, or what is it about that thing that makes you feel steady, centered, or at peace to your core being?

I found that sometimes my struggle comes to me in the night, or when I am alone, or exhausted. I find strength and encouragement when I go to the Psalms of King David (Bible).

At other times I just break down in tears and have to cry out to God for my help. I pray for strength, guidance and direction. I lay it all on the table (at the cross), and give my cares and worries to HIM alone. (1 Peter 5:7)

When I try to handle things on my own, in my own strength or if pride gets in my way, I mess things up. I may lash out or just make the worst decision of my life, and then God corrects me.


I don’t think it is ever too early to draw a red line about some things that are important to you. There should be some things in your life that can be flexible, interchangeable, adaptable, but other things that are outright non-negotiable.

It will be different for each one of us. We all have our reasons and our tolerance levels, belief systems, routines and such that we just don’t want to give up.

racing marking on asphalt road in stadium

We all have different appetites, interests, goals and people in our lives that are important to us.

Deep down, however, there are some things that matter more to us. Would we give up or give in to something that went against our deepest convictions?

For me, having now been married twice, divorce is no option. I am hanging in this relationship through the thick and thin of it. I am blessed to have married a Christian man that is more loving than I deserve. He has made my conviction to be true to our vows, easy.

But for me to give up potato chips for the rest of my life, even if my health depended on it, would not be hard. I could give up and give in. I am a healthy eater, yet potato chips is my downfall if left in the cupboards to be a temptation.

You decide where the red line is, but there needs to be one on life decisions you will be making that are more serious.
A red line will remind you what you will not cross. It screams “never give up, never give in” for this one thing!

Every time I have moved my RED LINE I regret having done so. It gives the other person or thing, more power over you.

Intimidation, bullying, threats and manipulation are all tools the devil uses to make us surrender God’s will for our life. I still struggle with this at times with my own adult children.

They are independent and successful yet, some of them at times will push me to the limit. THAT is when you need to remember your red line.


A person can bring their own self down, by what they tell themself, if it is negative. Do you find yourself throwing your own “self” under the bus?

Give yourself some credit now and then. See how that makes you feel when you are having a bad day. “GOD LOVES ME!”

I have company all day long. I talk to my own self, and Jesus. I hear, “Were you talking to me?” a lot, if someone else happens to be nearby. “No…just talking to my SELF.”

I don’t put faith solely in self-help books, although I found them helpful when I was in an unhealthy relationship. Coming from a disfunctional family (aren’t most of them?), I needed some understanding of what a healthy boyfriend treats you.

They made me aware of my situation, but it was only God, who gave me the strength, to make the appointment with a professional counselor and finally end my unhealthy co-dependency.

God brought to my attention, ” I AM WORTH SOMETHING TO HIM.”

Some churches that profess a Prosperity Gospel, will preach to you that you can manifest things into your life just by what “you” tell yourself. (Do you have any real power if not Jesus in you?)

Many followers of such religions have left cults promising a better life, wealth, healing. Disappointed, and broke after they took so much of their money, they left discouraged. Another “religion did not work” for them.

Some religions use “mantras” to help bring some sort of manifestation to your life. Leaving God out of the picture all together, they teach that you become “like” God. Do you really even want to go there?

Definition: mantra (the free dictionary)

(ˈmæntrə; ˈmʌn-) n1. (Hinduism) Hinduism any of those parts of the Vedic literature which consist of the metrical psalms of praise

2. (Hinduism) HinduismBuddhism any sacred word or syllable used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power

3. (Buddhism) HinduismBuddhism any sacred word or syllable used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power.

I would rather go to God’s WORD to find what I need to help me. It is God’s Word inspired by the Holy Spirit and written and given to us by those God called.

This is my life verse if I were to pick one:

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Phillipians 4:13)

I use it whenever I can’t seem to get a grip on things going on around me. I repeat…yes, like a “mantra” one might argue, but who is it I am saying…gives me strength, in the verse itself? CHRIST gives me the strength….not “SELF”.

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:” (2 Timothy 3:16 – KJV)

Even the simple things like cleaning my desk off or finishing a difficult sewing project can remind me that I need help from my LORD. (It is true, things become different once we get older.)

If you study God’s word, you will find many things about you, that are positively true. God is the only person that gives us the affirmation we need to hear and believe. God can not lie.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” (Psalm 139:14)

You are wonderful…marvelous….a handiwork of GOD!

Positive affirmation about you will give you the confidence you need to make right decisions in life. Negativity leaves us scared, confused and vulnerable to the enemy, the devil.


To take a stand on an issue or topic does not mean you have to have a live microphone. You don’t need to appear on any major television network and you don’t even have to put out a video on Rumble or your website.

We all have our own circle of friends and family or neighborhoods where we live, when sometimes there is a gathering. I realize things are less face to face these days and social distance is usually the rule.

In the event, however, that a topic comes up that makes you cringe, do you sit quietly and hope it is soon over? Do you have courage to engage in the conversation at hand? Does it matter enough to you, or just a little?

There is a time to be quiet and a time to speak up. And sometimes you have to consider who is in the room. Some conversations should be had when little children are not in the room for instance.

Speech is our blessing from God our creator which is what makes us different than the animals. Our nation, in the Constitution protects our freedom to speak. There is not easier time to do that using the tools we did not have over 2,000 years ago.

Phones, internet video, television and radio broadcast systems allows us to reach millions all at one time.

Times we live in, also has made it more risky to speak freely. At what cost is your speech worth at any given moment? The tongue is impossible to tame, if not difficult. Once the words have left, the damage or influence it will have has left the shore.

Yet, it is worse at times, to say nothing.
Did you ever catch yourself saying, “I wish I had said something!”
“I should have warned them.” “I wish I would have returned the phone call. I didn’t know they were depressed.”

I have wished I could turn back time and correct somethings left said or unsaid. But, it is easier to apologize for a spoken word, than one not spoken.

Words do matter and nothing will show people who and what you are made of, than words spoken and deeds done. It takes risk of reputation, financial ruin or slander to come up against evil but God, with you, is a majority.

Your word is a testament to the world in which you live. It can change lives and futures for your loved ones, your family, and make you stronger and more convincing just by speaking what is near and dear to your heart.

You will become more persuasive as you confront others who go against your moral code. “Be strong and courageous.” (Joshua 1:9)

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” (Lao Tzu)


It was only a few years ago that my “SECRET” got out to my adult children. I seriously did not know how to handle the situation but admitted to the sin, told them I would choose differently if I could take the day back.

One thing, I still feel strange about, is that, I am not sure I asked “their” forgiveness. I knew I did not need it. I had the forgiveness of the only one that paid my penalty already, Jesus.

With my bad life choice I made, I am trying to make something good out of the evil that it was. Not because I need to pay….GOD for this, but to SAVE a CHILD in the womb, from death and destruction.

If one new mom can see her child because of an Ultrasound I may have funded, a doctor visit or counseling I may have donated, and change her mind about abortion, I will have renewed spirit within me.

This is not easy to bare my shame to others. I feel sorry for so many women who are alone in their silence over this. The grief is unshakeable. It never leaves, but God loves all who come to him.

God’s love and grace is unconditional. I was a Christian, married with 3 beautiful children of my own, secure, when I kept my appointment with the Planned Parenthood clinic.

No reason to end my child’s life, just….”get this over quickly”…..(then I thought I would not have to think of it again). It was very early in my pregnancy, yet, I did not get an ultrasound. It was not offered.

I heard no heartbeat. I did not ask. They told me the stage I was at was “just tissue”. Now, years later, I have my doubts. I play the scene over almost daily and rehearse what I would do differently.

I wake up wishing this were all just a bad dream. Regretfulness and pain never leave me, but I have others in my life to consider. I must move on. I must go through the motion but a smile rarely surfaces anymore to my profile.

I wish there were more stories out there of women who have post-abortion stories to tell. Why would they want to? How would they start?

We don’t speak of such atrocities. Until now…..maybe I broke a window. Maybe someone is touched or moved and want to share each others burdens. Maybe we can together help young women undergoing pressure or fear, finding themselves pregnant, yet untimely. God willing….a life might be saved!

blooming flowers growing under blue sky

We need to read stories as our ancestors told their sad and happy stories. Pass this on to your children if and when they are ready.

Write things down or blog, journal. There are so many ways to send a message and get truth out. Pray always and ask God to lead you in the way you should go.

I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will give you counsel and watch over you.(Psalm 32:8)

Maybe THIS will help end the disillusionment, deceitfulness and coverups of what is really going on “AFTER” it’s too late. I want no sympathy. I want no praise or reward. What I did was wrong.

What is sin in God’s eyes is sin completely.

Christ died once ….. and for all. He took on the sins of many.
He was sinless. And for this I always pray, “lead me not into temptation”.

Thank you God for loving me and the promise of meeting my child one day, in heaven.

“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5 – KJV)

By cushn4

I am a wife and grandmother and still doing some sewing. Writing has been a pass time I enjoy. I write to inspire, encourage and enlighten others about the times we live in. God is my refuge and my strength.


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