Here I am…doing nothing.
I should be doing, growing, creating, earning.
I write about nothing, express nothing. I am empty. My well is dry. Only God can fill me.
Nothing motivates me, inspires, excites or lifts me up….today.
Maybe this too will pass…how I feel today. I feel better on rainy days.
Maybe I need to get a diet coke. Maybe I should not have been in the sun so long
weeding my flower beds.
What am I to do with my life now without money? I used to bring in money.
I can’t spend our savings or retirement just because I want to buy a bag of potting soil or upgrade my website to sell things.
I checked my phone this morning and no one left a message. No one sent a text.
I shut my phone off and left it on my bed stand. What’s the point. Everyone is
busy with their young lives and no one will need me until Tuesday when I
babysit, unless someone needs something sewn.
I don’t like doing nothing.
I could play my piano or clean my house and I do have an afghan to finish.
I could start some needlework, or pick some wildflowers that I could press.
I could go upstairs and read and then just lay my head on my pillow. I could sleep and
take a nap. I could write a letter.
I don’t like doing nothing. Nothing is all there is sometimes and that’s alright too.
Maybe it is a good thing to just be content with nothingness. Nothing satisfies anyway (but Jesus…I know that). Even Christians can feel empty….unmoved….maybe I am just suppose to wait.
Nothing…. does not come along everyday, so maybe I should be grateful.
I am usually very busy. Still…I would rather be, that, then doing nothing.
Nothing has a hold on me but at least nothing….is free.
I wonder how long nothing can last?