Don’t Push Start Until You are Ready

I’m wondering why this is taking so long.

I feel like I am in slow motion.
I know what I want to accomplish in part,
but not sure the tools I need to get started.

I feel like I have a handicap somehow.
Yet I am not so sure what that is that still keeps me back.
It’s as if I’ve stepped in a tangled up noose.

I don’t get it, I used to be quicker.
I could move from one thing to the next with great ease.
I wonder if deep down there is still healing that’s needed.

I have managed to give away many things I don’t need.
I can move on from some longings I’ve had.
I do the “one day at a time” thing successfully now….yet.

What’s holding me back?
What’s keeping me from committing to go to….the next step?
Maybe I don’t want it that bad after all.

But, I remember how much I enjoyed it before.
I remember how I loved being so busy.
Instead….I have been reading a lot and playing my piano again.

I have a very difficult jigsaw puzzle spread across my dining table I am doing.
What is more important than that?
I am happy….for the moments I have….today….I am happy, in my very quiet house.

Today…. I won’t start that “big idea” I have in my head….not ready….maybe tomorrow.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Phillipians 4:6,7)